What Sam Taught Me

Becoming a parent has taught me so much more about who my Heavenly Father is than I knew before.

It always astounds me to think that God loves me SO much more than I love, or could ever love my Sammy. And I love that kid a LOT.

We officially turned Sam's crib into a toddler bed last week. The transition has been going really well, despite his getting out of bed a bit earlier than normal. (Because, "Hey, I can!") Last night, about a half hour after he went to bed, I heard some thumping around coming from his room. Then, a quiet knocking at his door, followed by a little voice calling, "Mommmmmmy... Mommmmmy".

Now sometimes, especially after a particularly hard, long, or frustrating day, it can take everything in me to go in there and deal with him. I go hard for 12 hours a day, so though I love him so much, I'm also thankful when bedtime comes, and I can put my feet up and enjoy a few hours of something different.

But a lot of times, I like when he needs a little more of me. I went in there, and my heart swelled as I saw my little boy standing at his door, eyes squinty and blinking while they adjusted to the hallway light. Then he saw me, and smiled. I scooped him up, and we sat in his rocking chair together. I kissed his head and cuddled him in tight. He stroked my hair and face, and looked up at me, while his eyelids got heavy. We stayed like this for quite a while. I thought back to the days when he was a newborn and we sat together in that very chair bonding while I nursed him for those many long hours. And now he is so much bigger, but I was so thankful that he still fit so well in my arms.

In a moment I realized what a trust Sam has in me. He trusts that I will come when he needs me. He comes boldly to me, and because I love him so much, I scoop him up in my arms and cuddle him. He doesn't even question it. Now, I am only a human, and my nature gets in the way and I make many mistakes and let Sam down, too. So how much more does our Father, who is perfect, want to do this for us? How much more boldly should we be able to come to Him, and trust that he will take us in His arms and hold us as long as we want? I don't think that I trust Him the way that Sam trusts me. I would like to change that.

Something else I can add to the list of important lessons my 2 year old has taught me...