God is teaching me a lot about patience in this last little while. And it is a well-needed lesson.
I have been pregnant a whole 4 weeks longer than I was with Sam, and now I am officially two days "overdue". (Although, who decides stuff like that? This baby is due when it's ready to come out. End of story. I don't need a term like that to make me feel more impatient!)
Anyways, I have had meltdowns, been downright grouchy and mean, and have not handled this last bit with any kind of grace or dignity. Sometimes I don't care, but other times, I'm kind of embarrassed by both my behaviour and my attitude. Thinking on all this, two things came to my mind:
- I read a post a while back from Katie in Uganda's blog about a young girl (13 years old, I think?) who had been taken from her family by her uncle, and then abused by him and her cousins in unthinkable ways. She became pregnant, and therefore an embarrassment to the family, so they tied her to a tree in the yard. Pregnant, tied to a tree, forced to sleep on the ground, and still exposed to more torture, even being beaten in the belly to try to hurt the baby. Praise the Lord, this young girl was rescued and brought to live with Katie, where she had a healthy baby boy (what a miracle!) shortly after.
- I took an English class in university in which we focused on slave literature, particularly that which was written by women. It amazed me how these women, when pregnant, continued their arduous work right up until the time they gave birth, only to strap the infant onto their back hours later and return to work.
Woah, I am such a wimp.
I know it is okay to have struggles. But thinking on these things is a good reminder for me to be patient, and to be thankful. The sore body, bad sleeping, heartburn, and huge belly in the way is just a sign that I am about to bring a beautiful little person into this world. I have a bed to sleep in, good food to eat, and a medical system working for me. I am spoiled. Truly and utterly spoiled. I think it's time for a shift in focus.
So... to end this, I'm going to share a couple of things I'm loving about being pregnant right now:
- Knitting over my big, full belly
- Cuddling with Sam on the couch, while he uses his little sibling as an armrest!
- The way strangers are extra courteous to a pregnant woman, and the little smiles I get from people when they notice the tummy (especially from the older ones!)
- Feeling this little person move around and just be, all while inside of me
- Kris saying, "watch your belly" when he moves around me, knowing that I don't really like having it bumped
- Knowing how many people are excited about this child, and what a blessing it is to have people who love my kids
- Keeping people on the edge of their seats, and throwing them for a bit of a loop when we don't answer the phone, or Kris phones someone from his cell phone :) (or pulling a FB prank...!)
- Just learning to savour these last few days of carrying this child, and dreaming about who he/she will be