Terrible Twos?

It hardly fails. I mention that my son is almost 2, and far more often than I care for, my words get met with a groan, and "Oh, the terrible twos". Mmm... how encouraging.

Now, Sam has his moments. But so do I. (Oh gosh, so do I!) But to refer to an entire age group as "terrible" seems a bit over the top to me.

I've kind of wondered if its just OUR reaction to things, and our own issues, that make it terrible or not. Kris and I got a flat tire coming home from church in the city on Sunday. A really nice highway maintenance worker stopped to help, and when he saw that Kris had it handled, decided just to leave his truck with the lights flashing parked behind us to make sure none of the idiots driving would hit us. It was really nice of him. He saw that Sam was sleeping in the back seat, and asked how old he was. I told him he'd be 2 in a few weeks. It was so neat, because he said his kids were 10 and 12, and how much he just LOVED the age Sam is. He said he loved how they learned stuff, and got to be more independent. And even though having a 12 year-old girl was tough on him sometimes, it seemed, he still delighted in that stage too. What a change from some of the comments I've been getting from strangers.

We talked about it for a bit, and I said, "I wonder if people think it's such a terrible age because they don't like letting go of control?" I'm a person who likes to be in control. But I'm learning to let that go. I'm definitely not perfect. I've noticed, the more I try to control Sam, or take away some of the freedoms he can handle, the more he acts out. Yet, if I just let him be who he wants to be, and wear rubber boots with his sweater vest if he'd like to, the less issues there are. It's just amazes me how the more little freedoms and choices he is given, the less fuss he makes about following the rules that aren't an option. Hmmm... we certainly still have some tantrums, and Kris and I still get frustrated, but if we can remember to let go of some control, it makes a huge difference. I feel like this is a revelation for us. And it's helping the twos to be terrific, and delightful, and completely enjoyable, the way I think they're supposed to be. (I may have to re-read this post once our kids are getting into the teen years. I feel a lot of the same rules probably apply!)

I just really appreciate how God has been moving and changing me into the parent He wants me to be. It's not always easy to see the areas that I need to work on in my life, but it's really rewarding to parent in a way that I never thought myself capable. I always thought I'd be strict, tough-as-nails, overly-structured, and really controlling. Yet, I'm learning to be more gentle, and let the rules slide when they don't really matter, and be gentle and calm. It's definitely a process... But I am so thankful to be surrounded by so many shining examples in my life of this kind of mother. And God always lets me know which parts of me need to be weeded out.

I'm thankful for these things. And for my wonderful, growing, learning, delightful little 2-year-old. And for a husband who is on the same page. God is good.