I went running outdoors yesterday afternoon, for the first time since getting back on the fitness wagon. Here are some things I learned from my experience:
- Car exhaust and the fumes from the back door of Panago Pizza are not welcome smells while breathing heavily in an attempt to stay alive.
- Running in cold weather makes me taste blood.
- Brand new running shoes should be worked in prior to running 6km in the first shot.
- Dogs that need to be contained because they want to eat human flesh should not be taken for walks where people frequent.
- I need to practice my Billy Blanks side kick, and preserve it for the neck of the next dog that jumps at me. (Come get me, PETA. I dare you.)
- Though fitted Lululemon pants look cute and fashionable, looser, less becoming attire might be better. (See next point.)
- Certain members of the male gender are pigs.
- Next time I run in public, I think I will don a sign that reads, "I am married. I have birthed 2 children. I haven't shaved my legs in... a while. Right now, I am listening to 90s Praise music. I'm sure you are a nice gentleman, but please continue driving." (See previous point.)
- Turns out that my issues with worrying about what people think of me actually work in my favour when running in public - I will purposely NOT stop just because I don't want some stranger to think I'm a wimp or a phony. In fact, I will often speed up as a I pass someone, just so that they will think I'm hardcore.
- My 3 year-old son really does have a large head, which came in handy when I couldn't find a light toque of my own, and had to borrow his camouflage toque.
- I look terrible in a boys' camouflage toque.
- My prior concerns of not being able to run the 8k race I already signed up for were completely nullified yesterday. In 2 months, I am going to be able to kick the crap out of that race.
- Running on my treadmill has actually produced some decent results that translate into running on a piece of ground. I was worried that would not be the case.
- I love running, despite the smells, the looks, and the feeling that I might expire at any moment. I never feel more alive than when I am that close to death.
So there you have it.