I'm confused

I had a discussion with someone recently about some heavy, confusing stuff. Here's the background:

I believe that my God is a good, gracious, and loving God. He loves us and wants us just the way we are. I often think that when we enter heaven, that there will be a moment where we will be held accountable for our lives on earth and what we chose to do with them. Not that we do those things to earn our salvation, or do it for the motive of working for God's love, but that we should be thinking of how we are to answer to God when we meet him. Does that make sense?

The person I spoke with was very adamant about how we don't live under the law anymore, and that while we should be feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc. (Matthew 25), we won't ever be judged or held accountable for whether or not we do those things.

As a side note, I'm really starting to realize how often believers pass off the "Old Testament" as just that - outdated, irrelevant. I know we do not LIVE under the law anymore, but there are some really beautiful guidelines and promises that I think would be GREAT if we lived out today. I love how Shane Claiborne (or was it Rob Bell? That is the problem with reading 2 books at once... but I think they both talk about this anyways...) refers to the OT as the "Hebrew Scriptures" instead.

Anyways, so then I brought up the sheep and goats idea, also from Matthew 25. She and another lady sitting there were both very firm about the fact that that doesn't apply to Christians at all. I said, "of course it does!" They informed me that the context of it implies that it is talking about the world, not believers. However, upon looking when I got home, it simply says "the nations", and nowhere does Jesus talk about "believing in him" as one of the requirements for not being a goat. I really believe it is US believers who are going to be separated. Why would the world be worried about feeding/clothing/helping Jesus? (Although truth be told, they often do a better job of it.) It is US who are supposed to be doing those things. And to be really blunt, I believe it is folly to think that just being a believer automatically makes you a sheep.

Then we got into the whole "true faith produces works" side of it. She believes that a genuine faith would, by nature, produce the works in Matthew 25. I said that I know tons of Christians, who I don't doubt love and believe in Jesus, who aren't producing that fruit (including myself, at more times than I'd like to admit). It's totally possible. It's an issue of listening to the Holy Spirit and letting it change you. It's about maturity. And those are the things that make sheep or goats.

So maybe I'm totally off here. I've been wrong before, so it's possible to be wrong again! I'm pretty sure that I'm on the right track, but I'd love your opinion. Is it believers who will be subject to the sheep/goat judgement, or are we exempt based purely on our beliefs? I have a hard time buying that, but I'd like to know if that's the case. I'd love to hear some thoughts.