What comes out of my mouth

Some sentences I've said since being a parent:

1. "That is not appropriate!" (As if a 1 year old cares.)
2. "Don't put your toothbrush on your penis." (While getting his diaper changed.)
3. "Don't put Barkers on your penis." (Barkers is his stuffed puppy.)
4. "You don't need chocolate chips at 8:30 in the morning."
5. "Sure! You can have chocolate chips at 8:30 in the morning."
6. "When you're a daddy, you will understand." (Along the same lines as #1.)
7. "Please don't make a mess!" (Huh?! He's 1...)
8. "Mommy would be a bad mommy if she let you do that."

The moral of the story is threefold:

1. Parenting makes you say sentences you never thought possible.
2. 1 year olds are oblivious to the expectations adults put on them. For the most part, this is probably a good thing. A lot of my first expectations are re-thought out after remember that my son is 1. Still a baby.
3. Don't let a boy hold things while you're changing his diaper.

And here's a picture of me and my precious, precious boy (one of them):

And please excuse my look of "more-than-appropriate-for-the-situation" excitement. Sam looks worried. And so he should. His mother is weird.